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My dad slaved over making homemade Biscotti earlier in this week. It is one of my our favorite baked goods and the difference in homemade fresh biscotti to store-bought is unreal…i can never go back. We devour them quickly…fresh out of the oven…no matter the time of day, we must try one. We are so delighted to have biscotti that the first several days find us having one with our morning coffee, as a midday snack, and often one at dinner time with tea or alone. The usual 2 loaves won’t last long. He hadn’t made biscotti in quite some time.

As you know we love to watch birds in the morning with our coffee (and of course any biscotti still left) and I have to share our lovely bluebird who has been coming to visit this week. He is simply gorgeous.

The morning after the biscotti were made I get the following email during class:


I went back to bed after you left. I got up again around 8:45, shaved, brushed my teeth and looked forward to my morning coffee and biscotti.

The dogs came downstairs again, I guess thinking maybe they would get another breakfast. I put five little kernels of food in each of their bowls, just to be a nice guy, and then made my coffee. I then went to get a biscotti, an orange one and an anise one. THE BOWL WAS EMPTY!! I am going to kill that dog of yours. No biscotti. The bowl had been full or nearly so. No more. Coffee and nothing. Coffee and an empty bowl. The bowl was still on the shelf. He did not break the bowl. He deftly emptied it. He is a pig. He is a spoiler. I am putting him up for sale on craigslist, eBay, and the Neighborhood Watch. Goodbye Winnie.

XO, Depressed Daddy

This is not the first time Winston has emptied or destroyed baked goods. I clearly remember one day filled with baking when I was living out in Utah and I left the house for 5 minutes to run to the store for a missed ingredient. He had stood up on his hind legs and somehow grabbed a freshly baked dish off the back of the stove and ate more than half of it. I learned to keep items off the counter or place them in child-proof containers. He hasn’t been this bad in a long time….a very long time.
Brad sent this out Subject: Response to Craigslist Ad

Mr. Chadwick,

I am writing in response to your ad for a “spoiler, piggish golden retriever named Winston that eats biscotti and has deft paws.”
I heard you were actually offering money to anyone that would take him…may I ask how much?
I own a korean restaurant and think Winston would be a great addition to our menu, I mean family.
I look forward to hearing back.
Mr. Wu
With a quick rebuttal:

Dear Mr. Wu,

Winnie the Pooh would go well on your menu,
And very few who know his deed would say “boo-boo.”
I can see how each deft paw of his would be a great draw,
But you should know there is only one left, the others are gone.
If you say that was a harsh penalty, I say you’re wrong.
When it comes to biscotti theft, we must deal harshly with the deft.
But I digress: you have asked how much would I take.
My answer is simple: a doggone good steak.
Biscotti Bruce

We all had a good laugh and quickly replenished our supply with 2 new baked loaves. Later that night I found this:

Even for a biscotti thief, you can’t stay angry at him that long.